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I Want Your...

Okay so a certain girl has been on your mind for a while. With a personality and body that drives you wild. She's your ideal partner... or so you think. There is one little problem. She just happens to be your best friends ex-girlfriend. So you ask "what do I do"? There's so many things to take into account before you even consider having a relationship with her. Your best friend and you Some men can form a mutual trust with another man. If this is case with you and your best friend, you may want to look for another girl. If the two of you have been friends since grade school why risk it over a girl?

No matter how good she is, she will never replace what you and your best friend have. Sex might be great but sex isn't everything in a relationship. A best friend is the greatest thing one can have in life. Providing you don't sleep with his ex.

There is another type of best friend that men have of course. Which is the fun but sick, depraved kind. The one who you ask to join you in a threesome or compare a sexual conquest with. How do I know if he's the same kind of best friend as above? Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. The chances are slim to none so don't risk it. The same best friend is also the kind who would be open to the idea of you and his ex-girlfriend as a couple. The fact of the matter is that some men have a wolf pack mentality when on the subject of women. Men want their packs to score often and revel in the "hush hush" endorphin rush guys get when they date and sleep with the same woman. One man got some nookie so he wants his pack to get some as well. Some men don't like to share. When real emotion is playing, the situation could become complicated.

You and his ex
To find out the nature of his relationship with his ex, you have to be a really good judge of character. Even our best friend may not know how we feel about our ex. If you think this might be the case you should get some info. How did the relationship end? Did he dump or or vise versa? Did he love her? The most important question to fid out is did he respect her?

There are some guys that are players. I would think that these guys wouldn't really care if you went after their ex.. Then again some players are very controlling and possessive towards their ex's.

How long has it been?
If your best friend was close with his ex, there is still a chance for you and her. The more time that has passed, the less it's going to hurt him when you tell him that you're interested in her. But let's say they broke up last week and you want to make the big announcement today, watch out. But then again if he dumped her for another woman she's free to take.

Time is a big thing for some people. Some men have a one year rule with their best friend. Which means give me sometime to get over her and then feel free to have her. While other men want their best friends to wait 6-7 years for their friends to date their ex. Then there's the man who it's just wrong to date their ex's and you don't bring it up. This is a strict code of honor set in stone: no matter the reasons an ex is never to be dated by a bestfriend. A very effective way to set things straight.

Why is it taboo?
My opinion is that a woman is not an item. So why should men care whether or not why they broke up? If you really like her and you want to pursue a nice relationship with the girl then the best friend should have nothing wrong with you dating her. No one should be held back from a relationship regardless if she/he was your best friends ex. You can't stop who you fall in love with. That's life.

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What you should do
If your best friend has given you his blessing, be sensitive and take your time with his ex. It might be a little awkward but sit him down and talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel about him as a bestfriend and tell him how you feel about her. Reassure him that you would never sacrifice your relationship for any girl. Don't go into detail about why you have an interest in his ex.Be prepared for an extreme reaction, from rage to silence. Number one thing to remember is stay calm. Don't blurt out things you'll regret later. You, her and the new relationship.

I'm hoping that his ex also has the same interest in you. Now your best friend is all good with the idea and it's time for you to make a move. Start to date slowly and then a serious relationship will follow. To have respect for your best friend, there are a few guidelines you should follow.

Try as hard as you can to not shove you and her in his face for the first little bit. Remember this is still hard for him to cope with.

When showing public displays of affection when your best friend is near: be a gentleman. Don't slap her ass or sit there and make out hardcore. Be respectable in front of him. His is your friend right?

Don't ask him for advice. It all depends on what type of person he is. He might help you out and he might lead you in the wrong direction. Don't take a chance. You never ask info from her ex. Don't go into detail about your relationship. He's not going to like that too much. If you have a problem with the way she acts, deal with it on your own. If you two have a talk about her this could be very painful for him, and you too.

Unless your best friend falls under the deprived category do not talk about your sex life. If you really want to talk about your sex life then talk to someone who has not dated her.

You're bound to come into many awkward moments. He might need to be reassured that she hasn't come between the two of you. She might be the one who needs to be told not to flaunt her relationship in front of her ex. You need to be the one to make sure everything okay and everyone is comfortable. If you have something up you sleve know that this could destroy one if not all of the relationships.

Ask yourself what's a stake. What do I have to loose. Communication is the key to a good friendship and relationship.

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