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Why Do Women


There are many great and unexplained phenomena in our vast universe. Some of the most vexing are the Loch Ness Monster, spontaneous human combustion, and how to get ketchup out of the bottle without sticking a knife in it. But perhaps the most confounding conundrum is why women go to the bathroom in groups. Men don't do it. Sure they seem to enjoy group activities, but not where the bathroom's concerned. It's only natural that the topic raises curiosity and debate among men. Theories abound? "I have this vision that the girls belong to gangs - one takes the others to watch her back; safety in numbers, you know.

The ladies' room periodically erupts into a cat fight of epic proportions as the girls duke it out for the cutest guy," says John, 27, a Houston-based software developer. "And the reason they take so long in there is because they have to clean up after the fight."

"I figure they're working out a game plan? you know, deciding which girl will go after what guy," posits Lee, a 32 year-old finance officer in Providence. "Sort of like a pride of lions determines which wildebeest to attack."

"Or they're talking about their dates and comparing notes," adds Wayne, a 35 year-old MBA candidate. "You know, 'Did you see the spinach in his teeth?' 'How ugly is that tie?' or in my case, 'How could I not go home with him tonight?'"

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"Personally, I think the bathroom is their clubhouse or something - the female equivalent of a guy's rec room," says Ian, an IT consultant in Seattle. "They go in there to escape from the guys hitting on them, probably. Maybe there's a trap door or something so they can sneak out. Because several of my mates and I have been chatting up some birds who then excuse themselves to go to the loo and they never return."

"It's probably something Wiccan," offers Manny, 45, a scriptwriter in Hollywood. "There's probably a cauldron in there, and they're casting spells on the unsuspecting men outside. Or is that the movie I'm working on?"

"I don't have the foggiest idea why they have to go together," says Maury, 50, a Charlotte-based photographer. "It used to make me nervous, but after three-plus decades of dating, I just chalk it up to something peculiar to women. Maybe it's like how men can't go to the bathroom without taking the newspaper, a book or a magazine."

Of course, as a woman, I know the reason why. And I could tell you. But then I'd have to kill you. This article as been bought to Mens-Network in association with Match.com


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